家， 你还好吗？
农历新年过后，就没再见到你了~
你可还安然无恙？ 你一定要茁壮成长哦！
我在这里还不错，但就很想你，想回到你身边。
你对我总是那么的体贴，温暖，虽然只是两个月没见，
真的像是过了三年耶..
你是我的归宿，让我任性的，野蛮的躺在你怀里，从来不离不弃！
真的好想在考试前回去充充电！我快没力了呢。。。
五月吧！咱们五月再见吧！

Monday, 07 January 2008

I’m in the bus again, on the way back to campus, it seems that riding bus for 8 hours to reach a destination is no longer a problem to me. I’m worried, I’m scared, this is a brand new semester for me, but what I’m going to face is more than only the courses. Many things have changed! Kolej YAB had changed its name to Kolej Kediaman YAB; the arrangement of the table in the cafeteria had changed; some new faces are appearing in YAB now, everything is changing!

I’ve done many thing wrong, I’ve made a lot of mistake, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop there and cry for the guiltiness! We should never make promise when we’re happy, but somehow, people still did that. When we’re happy, everything in the present, past or future will be so sweet, interesting, exciting…etc. Sigh, my brain is empty, very empty, I can’t think of what to do!
Sweet memories always appear in my mind, but it failed to bring me to continue what I had have before, why?

When I saw the sea that day, I was deep in depression! It recall me those sweet memories I have on the beach. What more can I do? It isn’t as easy as what we think…
I have to blame myself, but in other hand, I try not to blame myself!
I always said “Sorry no cure!”
However, what I can say now beside sorry is sorry.
I’m Sorry! I’m sorry!

This not so special morning,
a not so special me woke up in a not so special room,
and slept again in another not so special room.
Yesterday i slept in my fren's room, coz after reading book and chit chatting,
just too lazy to go back to my room, and i t was late!

I woke up again in the afternoon, one of my roomate was reading newspaper,
I wondered, i thought he has lecture today, because usually Tuesday I'm the only person that is so free until everyone so jealous with me! But they never know that every Tuesday i stay in this not so special room, I didn't felt much special and nothing much special would happen.
And sometimes..... I felt the loneliness, the emptiness...

11 years ago, a young little boy , with his family, shifted from butterwoth to KL, the capital city of Malaysia, and they stay at the middle of the city, the central of the city! Soon he realised that this world is so big and spectacular, since he borned he never expect that there will be so many person, so many car, so many building, and he would have seen that at the balconi of his house. He doesn't really know why they have to shift to KL, their life in Penang(butterworth) was peace, happy, harmony..
And from terrace houses to shop houses, It made a young and innocent boy so confused..From housewife to a hawker, selling fruit juices, soft drinks and so on beverages, and then everyone started to called her "Tauke Nio"..
This young and innocent boy never thought much, he enjoyed his new life by helping around in the restaurant with his mother, he was so protected and seldom have chance to expose to the world from that four walls he usually stayed. He enjoyed it and he was happy..

Time flies in the city, the boy grown up as a teenager,his parents work hard to earn money and pay for the high living cost in KL.He always stay alone in the house, parents have to work till late at night, sister started to work, brothers went to work in Singapore and Johor.. and now he had to learn how to enjoy this "Freedom" that he got- not so purposely...He hang out with friends, went travelling, spent a lot for entertainment, shopping, net surfing...
This life seems so fascinating, so fantastic, but beneath the freedom, after everything, when he back to his home again, he felt lonely,empty, he understood that all those thing won't follow him forever, but he not so understand that why he had to face all this alone!

Years gone by, and now the boy step into the stage of 20, and he learnt how to enjoy the time when he's alone, and luckily along his journey, he met a lot of good friend, some are still in contact but some are not, lead him, guide him, care him, so he is now a quite optimistic person and still learning, how to be a "useful" person, a person that have value, that have market value! Because he realise that, no one is gonna help him forever, he can't rely on anyone, he must learn how to be independent,If he has no market value, he will suffer in the future!

Now he's studying in the University, taking degree course, Bachelor in communication with honor, wish that he could enhances his communication skills and make use in his career in the future! But studying in University is not only to study, because study is just a small part in University life... and there's many thing else to learn...

The 1st pic is my fren, the 2nd and 3rd pic is a sister of my fren's fren, do they look alike?feel free to give some comments...lol - i think it is 90% alike....

Yo, another long time didnt update my blog, had been so busy and busy and lazy... lol.
So finally i started my Campus life in University Utara Malaysia (UUM). Whoa, last week was orientation week, and know what? I only got 2-3 hours to sleep everyday in a whole week. So tiring and suffering! That time i really thought of going back to KL, my comfortable home sweet home. But fortunately the orientation week ended last friday! But, suddenly miss orientation week pulak, lol coz that time we spend all our time together, see our friends everyday, 24hours lol... But now we start our lecture already, all the timetable different, and cant meet those friends so often already, and you know, studying is boring sometimes, especially, hmm.. some lecturers just seems so Lembap.. aiks.. lol.
Oh, 1 more thing is that - i thought i got the course "Bachelor in communications with honors is Mass Communication, but wheni get the academic guide book, only i realise that is not mass comm, and there is no Mass Comm in UUM, the one i got is Communications, which is a very Umum course, that have to study everything related to communication such as organization communication, communications teknology and so on...
At 1st i was quite disappointed, but the fields that i can work after graduate is quite wide and also can work as what i want to, so after that not that disappointed already.. lol..

2007 February 18,
This morning i woke up, " No space for new messages", I received some Forwarded Messages from friends, "Happy Chinese New Year!", "Wish You have a Prosperous Year".. and so on.. I replied them, then I released something in toilet, brushed my teeth, and still feeling sleepy, then my parents asked me to eat the "Tong Yuen", then i got my AngPau from parents, then i lyed on sofa and see CNY Tv Programmes, some Fantastic performances present by China Performers.
I helped my parents and sister carried their luggage to car park, this year my sister will be driving, fetching my parents back to our hometown-Gerik, Perak. Then i back to my sofa again, continue to watch TV programmes, and swithced on my laptop trying to online. But the connection is down, it Kept Disconnected and it was so hard to chat with my friends. I thought of bringing the laptop to some cafe which provide Wi-Fi service, but starbucks? gasoline? or Low Yat Plaza Lemon Foodcourt? Oh, But i was so lazy to go out. So i take bath, then i try to enjoy the TV Programmes.. the connection is still down, then i felt hungry, but i was still lazy to go out, and i have no idea what food can I buy, all the chinese stalls are closed. Then I ate some biscuits which I found in kitchen. I made a cup of coffee, i heard a song " Wai Mian De Shi Jie Hen Jing Cai.." (The world out there is spectacular..) Oh my .. Thats my most favourite movie for the past two years- Perhaps Love, Showing on Wah Lai Toi Astro. I watched it more than twice, but it is just so nice, and i can't stop myself to watch it again! Everytime the story will touch my heart, this time is not excluded, some people will think, I'm insane or maybe, " He's too sentimental or what? this kind of movie watch once also will fall asleep.." They maybe don't understand the reason i love this movie that much, but this movie saved my life, I'd learnt something from this movie, and the music and songs is like what I want to say, what i thought... 6pm.. finally the show ended.
This Chinese New Year, why am I staying alone at home?
My first time... lonely CNY...

同樣的高樓﹐橘色的燈光﹐映出模糊的人影。
街上的車依然在奔馳﹐風也吹起了﹐雨真的又下了嗎?
一樣的是從天而降﹐為什麼這場雨感覺就是不一樣?
琴鍵仿彿在我耳邊悠悠鳴起...
三寸的高跟鞋, 華麗的晚服﹐微卷的金發
舞會又開始了﹐隨著音樂響起各戶千金都婀娜多姿,圍繞著舞伴在爭相獻媚.
為了得到心愛的人垂青,不惜變得面慈心險,你諛我詐,
爭得你死我活﹐為的就是想成為雞群裡的一隻鶴﹗
贏了麼?
那只鶴活得快樂嗎?還是活得更加寂寞無奈?
那怕是高峰獨行挑戰者﹐到達了山頂得來的失落更勝于成就感﹗
星星依然的閃﹐雨依舊的下﹐太陽依舊從東邊昇起。
是我們做多了嗎? 為什麼感覺就是那麼的不一樣?
是我們要多了嗎? 為什麼總是好像欠缺了什麼似的?
怎麼了?
月夜裡曾經好像看見一個戴著大黑帽的女人乘著掃帚飛過﹐小精靈不是常在彩虹邊嘻戲嗎?
我好久沒看見了﹗究竟那只是夢? 還是我們一直都活在夢中?
小精靈好像停在我家屋頂歇息了﹐你看見了嗎?